1. Phonetic Danzig - because it's hilarious,
2. Covers of "The Cup Song" (You're Gonna Miss Me by Lulu and the Lampshades) - because I'm a 13 year old girl. And yeah, I did learn how to "play" it. Don't judge me, and
3. C.G.P Grey - because I love love love clever, educational YouTube channels. Other good educational channels include TEDtalks, Big Think, and anything featuring the vlogbrothers (Crash Course, and Sci Show, for example).
Clearly, January wasn't very exciting for me, so I thought I'd share with you some of my January Hates (equally as boring as my Faves, but what this post lacks in quality, I intend to make up for in quantity).
1. Canadian Netflix - Seriously, Netflix? Seriously!! I signed up for a free trial, and then I didn't use it because I couldn't find any of the movies or shows I was looking for. Then I forgot to cancel my subscription so now I am stuck actually paying for this piece of crap service. I heard the American version has a much better selection so if you're living in Canada, I suggest a) getting software/services that obscure your IP address so you can get the American Netflix, b) downloading movies like everyone else on the planet, c) using some other streaming service, or d) going legit and purchasing or renting DVDs (I liked zip.ca once upon a time). That being said, I intend to milk the crap out of Netflix because I'm all paid up until February 15, so if you have any movie suggestions, lay them on me (hopefully I'll be able to find one or two of them on the site)...
2. Les Miserables (the movie, and probably the live show) - Am I the only person on earth who hated this movie (well, me and the other two people I saw it with)?! Because honestly - I heard nothing but good things about this film and the audience in our theatre clapped when it was over (the old lady sitting beside me was literally sobbing). They CLAPPED, y'all, like the people on the screen could hear them or something. They clapped like it wasn't the longest, most boring movie they had ever seen. I was expecting an epic masterpiece. I spent the whole movie waiting for it to get better but it never did. My ass was crying out for Fantine ("I'm dying, Fantine! Take me with you, Fantine!") by the end of the show.
I thought maybe I didn't like Les Mis because I'm not big into musicals (I was obsessed with Hedwig and the Angry Inch for a long, long time, but I don't think that counts). But then I realized I loved Phantom as a kid. My Fair Lady (a musical so long, it requires two VHS tapes and an intermission. I know because I own it) is one of my favourite films, so... I think Les Mis was just that terrible.
Les Miserables was rife with subjects that make me weep like a baby - poverty, injustice, child abuse, combat, death, fundamentalism - but the tears I shed were (figurative) tears of boredom. The only strong emotion I felt was anger, like when Russell Crowe's character offed himself. I get why he did it, I understand The Point that was being made, but I was just like "fucking asshole!"
Also, my heart was filled with loathing any time Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter came onscreen. I felt like I was watching Sweeney Todd all over again (I liked Sweeney Todd, but once is enough). Does Helena ever play a character who ISN'T Marla Singer?
And I hated Cosette. She was kind of a useless twit, wasn't she? All that, and she and her boyfriend end up filthy rich and living happily ever after. I mean, great, Jean Valjean achieved his goal, but nothing changed within the system and Cosette didn't even know his back story, so, in my mind, he kind of turned her into part of the problem rather than part of the solution. Am I missing something? Maybe the point of this story is that EVERYTHING is futile? Because that's totally what I came away with.
The book is probably better.
Speaking of books...
3. The Fifty Shades Series by E.L. James - It took me almost a year to get through this series, but I finally finished the last book (Fifty Shades Freed) this month. Wow. I mean, it wasn't THAT bad because, obviously, I finished it. It was entertaining, but you know the writing is horrible when you're skipping the sex scenes in an erotic novel because they're boring, and exclaiming "you're freaking KIDDING me!" at every terrible plot twist.
I have nothing to say about this series that wasn't already covered in this aaaaaamazing Goodreads review (http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215?auto_login_attempted=true), but I will say that fewer books have made me as angry and depressed as Fifty Shades of Grey made me.
Ladies and Gentlemen, if your partner does any of the following things: scares you, threatens you, attempts to control any aspect of your life, cuts you off from friends and family, becomes overly and unnecessarily jealous, makes you feel stupid, hits you (without your explicit consent in a real BDSM relationship - not an abusive relationship disguised as BDSM a la Ana and Christian), RUN! RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN AND NEVER LOOK BACK! It is not romantic. It is not a measure of how much he/she loves and cherishes you. You cannot change him/her into a kinder, gentler version of him/herself - he/she needs extensive therapy to do that, and even if you COULD change him/her, you deserve to be with someone who isn't broken to begin with. RUN, RUN, RUN, FUCKING RUN!! FUCKING RUN!!!
Ahem.
ALSO, if your friend tries to rape you, report the sonofabitch. Don't pretend it never happened and continue on with your friendship. Cut all ties with that dude/girl and do yourself, and every other person he/she has raped or will rape, a favour and lock him/her up. He/she does not love you! He/she needs help! You do not deserve to be molested! RUN RUN RUN!!
That goes for you, too, Bella Swan!
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