Sunday, October 30, 2011

Welcome to my Uterus, Bean Sprout!

Weeks 1-4

Okay, so, I may have kinda sorta accidentally on purpose gotten knocked up – accidentally because I wasn’t planning on getting pregnant until the new year, on purpose because I didn’t do anything to prevent it.

Don’t look at me like that! It’s Chase’s fault, too. HE DID THIS TO ME!!

Sooooooo… yeah. We’re a little off schedule. Well, Chase was off schedule. Y’all know I wanted a baby, and I was happy to squeeze one out earlier than expected. Chase… Well, once he got over the initial shock that unprotected sex can and did end in fatherhood, he was happy. Excited even! And I love that because I am through the roof!

I knew I was pregnant very early on. We’re talking DAYS afterward. I’m always interested to hear about other people’s early pregnancy symptoms, so for all you ladies who are wondering what you can expect (keep in mind that these symptoms could have all been psychosomatic on my part), here’s a list of my symptoms from weeks 2-4:

  • I feel more tired than usual. I am usually tired at work, but I don’t often want to physically climb on top of my desk and use my laptop as a pillow to catch some mid-afternoon shut-eye.
  • I feel randomly nauseous (not enough to ruin my day or make me literally throw up or anything. It’s more like being very mildly car sick).  Sometimes it lasts for a few minutes, sometimes a few hours, but it is fairly easy to ignore.
  • My boobs feel bigger and more tender than usual.  When I asked around like the classy broad that I am, no one had noticed a difference. I really do think they have gotten larger, though.
  • I have to pee more often.  And for someone who holds it in for as long as I do (I’m gross and I’m okay with it), this new sense of urgency is unusual.
  • I didn’t get my usual telltale “your period is coming” symptoms like chin zits (my number 1 tip-off) or headaches. Also, if I’m paying enough attention, I can usually tell when my ladytimes will be arriving (or, more accurately, when they WON’T be coming), and I got this feeling that they weren’t going to be coming.
  • My lower back hurt for like, half a day and then it went away.
  • I started to get the night sweats. No matter how cold I am when I go to bed (which is pretty much every night), I wake up hot and sweaty. If that happens when I’m NOT pregnant, once I kick off the sheets, I start to freeze again. Now, I just keep sweating.
  • Probably due to the night sweats, I don’t sleep as well as I usually do.  

I’m not going to create another State of My Hoo Hoo website to track this pregnancy (I barely used the old one), so be warned that this blog is going to host a buttload of Bean Sprout posts for the next 9 months. I still abide by my mission statement (“Sharing my Vagina with the World!”) from SOMHH (below), but I assume you’re used to this kind of crap from me and are, therefore, okay with the gory details. Still, if you’re squeamish, here’s my disclaimer: it’s about to get even more disgusting up in here.

My goal, in addition to writing regular blog entries, is to post weekly pregnancy videos on YouTube. I make no promises, but there it is.

I have a fascination with pregnancy and pregnant women that borders on obsession. I have always wanted to know all of the nitty gritty details, good and bad. What does it feel like to be pregnant and have a baby kick you from the inside? How badly does a hemorrhoid hurt? What happens to your vagina after it is basically obliterated by a gigantic baby head?
I feel that there aren’t a lot of bloggers out there willing to discuss pregnancy in the minute – sometimes disgusting – detail I so desperately crave. So, now that I am going through the whole process myself for the first time, I wanted to share my experience with… well, maybe not the world, but definitely other women who, like me, want to know what it’s like to create a life – warts and all.

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