I Want to Break Free (of my mustache)

If I was a dude, I would grow a dirty mustache like Feddie Mercury. I could probably do it now, but it's not the same. I'd just look like Freddie in drag a la Break Free and I'm not willing to butch up enough to pull it off. 

Speaking of I Want to Break Free, that video makes me more than a little uncomfortable. I'm good with the cross dressing, but the fact that Freddie's epic mustache clashes so badly with his mini-skirt gives me the shivers. It's effin' wrong. And don't even get me started on the part of the video where he's writhing around with those might-as-well-be-naked dancers, or that pseudo-hetero scene at the end of it. Oh god! It makes me want to [a] try rolling on a conveyer belt made of people, and [b] die. I would, however, like to learn his dance from minutes 1:40 to 2:10 because I think it would be hilarious to break it out at parties.

While we're on the topic of things that make me uncomfortable, does anyone else think the word "body" sounds kind of filthy? Body. So perverted. I don't even like to say it. Baaaaawdy. Someone back me up here.