Thursday, April 19, 2012

Pregnancy Update: The Glucose Test is Amazing!

I had my glucose test today to find out if I have gestational diabetes. I am a total sugar junkie; the chances of me developing type 2 diabetes are pretty high even without being pregnant, so this test makes me very, very nervous. What if I actually have gestational diabetes right now? What if I find out that I'm like, 2 chocolate bars away from birthing a 15 pound baby or going blind or losing a limb?!

Aside from the fact that I'd rather not do the glucose test at all because the results terrify me, this is by far my favourite prenatal appointment. I mean, sure, they make you fast for 12 hours, and then they take your blood 3 separate times over the course of your stay, but they also give you a delicious orange beverage* to drink and a 2-hour chunk of time when a) you're by yourself; b) you have no responsibilities - no kids to chase after, no work to do, no chores to finish; c) you are not allowed to indulge in any physical activity. It's like being at the spa, people! Only strangers aren't making awkward small talk while they rub up on you and judge your imperfections the way they might if they were giving you a massage or a facial or whatever. Total bliss. I relaxed, read half of the second Hunger Games book, and enjoyed the way Bean Sprout was jumping around in my stomach like a cracked out crazy person. It was fun.

*I don't know why everyone tells you that drink disgusting - it tastes almost exactly like orange pop without the fizz. That's basically an orange juice at McDonalds - not the real orange juice they give you in the bottle, but that fake tang-like drink they used to serve in a cup. Friggin' delicious.

I was so disappointed that I had to leave the lab, I immediately went and had a chocolate milk and a donut from Tim Horton's, just as a little pick-me-up. And then I had some Turtles icecream cake, cookies and Timbits at my work baby shower.

It's bad, but I feel like I have to get in as much junk food as possible in case the test results reveal that I am a super diabetic and I have to spend the rest of my pregnancy eating only vegetables and dirt. I'm like a smoker indulging in her last pack of cigarettes before a lung transplant. I'm ashamed of myself but I just can't stop.

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