Friday, March 9, 2012

New Miranda is Back In Town!

My life is a mess... like, every aspect of my life - from the big stuff to the small. My bed and my couch are being held up by 2x4s, I haven’t filed income taxes in 5 years, my kid is more than a year behind on her vaccines, I’m in crazy debt, and I will be homeless soon because my gypsy landlady is kicking us out at the end of our lease* (which feels a little bit like being dumped by your trashy boyfriend who you are obviously too good for and who you were going to dump anyway, but now you want him back because you don’t know what’s so wrong with you that a giant piece of shit like him wouldn’t date you).

*Proving that you should be careful what you wish for.


Anyway, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sick of all of this “woe is me” BS, so I’m breaking out the New Miranda**! New Miranda and I are embarking on a massive project – I call it “Operation Straighten-Out-My-Life-Before-My-Second-Kid-Comes-Along-and-Complicates-Everything-Even-More”. The title is obviously a work in progress…

**New Miranda is basically just Old Miranda (that’s me), but with more hope and ambition.

Every Friday (until July 1st, my due date for both the new baby and my massive To Do List), I’ll post an update about what I’ve done to organize my messy life over the past week. You can find my full To Do List below.


1. My daughter’s expired health card
I just filled out and sent the paperwork today, despite the fact that the card has been expired for months. The only reason I knew it was expired? I had to take her to the hospital a few weeks ago and I needed her health card.

When I get the new card, I am writing the expiration date in my calendar for future reference.

2. My application for child tax benefits
Canada is supposed to give me approximately $100 a month just for producing another tax payer, but I’ve never collected on it. I’ve basically given the government $2700 since Whitney was born for no other reason than I was too lazy to submit one simple form. Dan and Julie helped me to fill it out, and I FINALLY sent it today.

3. My 2007-2011 taxes
Cointrin attempted to help me with my 2007 and 2008 taxes ages ago, but then Whitney drew all over the paperwork before I had a chance to submit it. I always meant to re-do it and send the forms in, but, much like my application for child tax benefits, I was too lazy to follow up (sorry, Cointrin).

Fast-forward to this February and early March when my friend, Dan, spent two weekends doing my taxes and organizing the paperwork in such a way, all I had to do is drop one gigantic envelope in the mail. I sent it off today and cried little tears of freedom. Many thanks to Dan and his wonderful wife, Julie, who not only fed me and took care of my kid while they fixed my finances, but who most likely kept me from serving some hefty jail time (and a fisting or two from an inmate named Bertha) for tax evasion. Special thanks to Cointrin for trying to bail me out many, many times before (and for pretending not to be annoyed that I never followed through on his hard work *cough cough*).


Money and Government- Renew Whitney's Health Card
- Apply for Child Tax Benefits
- Taxes (2007-2011)
- Get Whit’s Birth Certificate
- Submit Maternity Leave paperwork
- Get my G1 (learner's permit to drive a vehicle)
- Pay Student Loan by July 1st
- Save $1000 by July 1st
- Set up new budget for mat leave once we move
- Get bills sorted out with the gypsy
- Open an RRSP (retirement fund)

Home and Childcare
- Toilet train Whit
- Get Whit’s vaccines up to date
- Find new apartment
- Sign up for mail forwarding to our new apartment
- Change address with banks, phone company, government, etc.
- Sort out daycare arrangements for my mat leave
- Develop easy house cleaning routine I can stick to
- Develop a good routine for Whitney to minimize impact when Bean Sprout comes (ie – solid bed time routine, story time, one-on-one learning and play)
- Prepare Whitney for Bean Sprout’s arrival by talking-up her role as Big Sister
- Wash and put away newborn and 0-3 month clothes
- Find storage solution for newborn diapers

- Car seat
- Double stroller
- Bed for Whit
- Dresser for Bean Sprout
- Diaper stockpile
- Moby wrap
- Ergo carrier
- Nursing covers
- Bottles

Misc. Organization and Projects
- Pregnancy vlogs for Moragvlogs YouTube channel
- Revive Morag and Me by updating at least once a week
- Clear out furnace room
- Sort through our storage junk, purge the stuff we don’t use, better organize the stuff we’re keeping, and bring donations to Good Will
- Purge clothes we never wear and bring donations to Good Will
- Sort through our sock mountain
- Purge through our junk drawer in the kitchen
- Organize bills/receipts/paperwork and come up with a good home filing system that we’ll actually use
- Finish Whitney’s baby book and make a memory box for her
- Start memory box for Bean Sprout
- Revive my Shutterfly account and make photo albums for Whit and Bean Sprout on a season-to-season basis going forward
- Paint our hall table and ghetto dresser (and maybe switch out the hardware on the dresser)

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